Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. Proverbs 5:18
A call to moral sanity will always involve a call to rejoice in marriage. In studying to comment on this passage I noticed an interesting dichotomy among commentators. Many shied away from speaking of sexual love in marriage when referring to things in this passage. They wanted to make all the allusions and word pictures within it refer to children instead. I found this a little sad, because between this passage and the entire book of Song of Solomon, God does not even remotely shy away from the subject of the joys of physical intimacy within marriage. In the past too many in the church felt to speak of such things was dirty or out of bounds. But in donig so we relegated the idea of physical pleasure in sex to those who engaged in it outside the bounds of marriage. Now I am not advocating that we go into explicit detail about such things, because God has informed us in Hebrews that we are to keep the marriage bed holy, but I am saying that where God's Word addresses such things, we should not be afraid to address them as well. What we are encouraged to do here in this passage is to rejoice in the wife of our youth. We are told that to enjoy physical intimacy with our wife is to allow our fountain to be blessed. The fountain here is a picture of a life-giving source - and the blessed result of sexual intimacy within marriage is that children are produced - which continues the cycle of life. But God is not just speaking of having a child - He is speaking of the process of intimacy which is enjoyed within the sexual union of a married couple. He says that this should be a time when we are blessed. That means God, who made us sexual beings - and who also designed our sexual organs - knew that this was going to be an enjoyable act. He commands us here, through the father speaking to His son, that we should rejoice in the wife of our youth. It is clear that what is said in the following verses refers to love-making between a husband and wife. God wants that to be enjoyable. Please remember though the context of this passage. This is a father instructing his son about the dangers of sexual immorality and warning him to stay away from adultery and from fornication. It is wonderful to see that in the midst of a talk on moral sanity that a father would tell his son that God's intent for sex is that it be thoroughly enjoyed within the framework of biblical marriage. This is sexual sanity - and it is ignored only to the detriment and hurt of those who do so. But for those who grasp God's view of sex - who see it as God intended for it to be enjoyed - this talk between father and son is wonderfully liberating. It lets us know that God did create sex - and He created the biological reality that sex is very pleasurable. But it tells us such things within the context of God's intent for sexual union. And that can ONLY be blessed within the bonds of marriage. Within that union there is no guilt, no STD's, no prospect of illegitimacy, and no sense of sin. But when we get outside the boundaries which God has set for sexual intimacy, such things abound. That is why it is so vital that we speak with our sons and daughters of such things - because to leave those topics to others is only to surrender them to the sexual insanity that now rules the greater part of mankind.
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Should your springs be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? Let them be yours alone And not for strangers with you. Proverbs 5:16-17
Part of sexually sane living is realizing what is at risk when we begin having sex outside the bounds of our marriage. Here we have a reference to where our seed as men will go when we decide to begin committing adultery. The father tells his son not to have his springs dispersed abroad - like streams of water in the streets. The picture here is how a man's seed should be kept for his wife - and only his wife. When a man begins committing adultery and resorting to women who do the same, he is risking pregnancy with a woman who is not his wife. Unfortunately we have myriad examples of this in our current day. Men, who do not care with whom they have sex, wind up impregnating women who are not their wives. Thus their seed is like a spring dispersed abroad - like water in the streets. The result is a society where there are illegitimate children running around - without fathers. A man who does such things is a man who will have his name and his reputation damaged over time. Since he does not care for the children properly they tend to go astray and to cause problems. When people learn that they are the illegitimate children of a man - that man's name suffers greatly - as do the children whom he has sired - but does not rear for God. God says to let our seed by ours alone - and not something that is shared with strangers. God intended for a man and a woman to be married, then to share in sexual intercourse. It was never His intention or will that men should have multiple children with multiple wives. This creates very serious problems over time. It causes problems for the family - for the husband and wife - for their children - and for the child who is uncared for by a father later in life. There is also the problem of what happens to the woman who is used in this way. Quite often this woman grows very bitter and angry at the man who has used her for sex - but is unwilling to commit to her . . . or to her child. God knows the damage that comes from ignoring His Word and the principles upon which it is based. This is multiplied many times over when a man fathers illegitimately. Unfortunately most men do not even consider such things - they are looking only for the pleasure of the moment rather than thinking about the long-term affects of their immorality. That is why it is left to godly fathers to warn their sons of such things. May we be wise and do such things with our sons and daughters - to hopefully promote a little more sexual sanity in our world. Drink water from your own cistern And fresh water from your own well.
Proverbs 5:15 As David finishes teaching Solomon about the need for purity and faithfulness to marriage, he turns to several verses of instruction. He has given his son a command to steer clear of adultery, prostitutes, and sexual sin. He has given him very severe warnings about what will happen if he succombs to such things. Now he turns his attention to some principles by which his son should live. This is a call for sexual sanity in a world that knows little of it. These verses should be known and taught to men and boys everywhere. I fear that because we do not teach such things to our guys, we suffer greatly because of a lack of wisdom and direction in such areas. Throughout this section David uses imagery to get his point across to his son. Most of this imagery is not difficult to follow, although there is some debate on it. Today's verse is pretty clearly speaking of being faithful to your wife. David tells Solomon to "Drink water from your own cistern." The cistern is a reference to a wife given by the Lord. Here Solomon is reminded to seek out his needs for sexual intimacy in his home, with his wife. David is saying to him, "Be satisfied with your own wife - and find fulfillment in your relationship and physical intimacy with her." As a man would drink water from his cistern and from the fresh water of his own well, so a man should enjoy the satisfaction of conjugal love with his wife. Note that here we see this referred to as "fresh water" from one's own well. In the modern era we've seen the horrible effects of people drinking bad water. When a disaster takes place in the world one of the most oft seen diseases is cholera - which comes primarily from drinking bad water. Spiritual and relational cholera happens when we decide that we want to drink from the waters all over the streets - rather than drink from the fresh waters of our own well. We have also seen in the modern era the meteoric rise of sexually transmitted diseases which are running rampant in our world. Such diseases are completely unnecessary and can be avoided entirely. The problem lies in that mankind does not like the cure - sexual abstinence before marriage and faithfulness to monogamy within marriage. Because much of society has rejected such things, we endure over 35 incurable sexually transmitted diseases that roam almost unchecked in our society. The simple counsel of a godly father to his son is the start of sexual sanity in our minds and in our lives. It is a guard against so many things that when loosed are a pandora's box of problems for us and for our nation. The onl way that we can begin to address all of pandora's evils is to have godly fathers once again arise and be first an example to their children - and then teach them by precept as well of God's ways and paths. In the day that this happens, we will begin to see a revival of sexual sanity once again in our homes, our community, and eventually our nation. "I was almost in utter ruin In the midst of the assembly and congregation."
Proverbs 5:14 This is the final statement made by the one who is lamenting their sexual sin of adultery. It is filled with a tremendous amount of regret - and yet even in this cry of horror over sin, there is hope for those who will be instructed by it. First we have a warning to those who think that adultery and sexual sin only inhabit the world outside the church. This person - David - said that he was almost to the point of utter ruin in the midst of the assembly and congregation. To think that the devil, the flesh, and the world only are problems for those outside the church is to set yourself up for ruin. David experienced these things "IN THE MIDST OF THE ASSEMBLY AND CONGREGATION." Oh, how we need to take heed from this statement that we are not beyond the reach of sin just because we go to church. The fact is that we are WELL WITHIN THE REACH OF SIN no matter where we are on earth. David unfortunately forgot this as he walked upon the roof of his house in Jerusalem. He forgot that it was the time when kings should be going out to war. He forgot that even if he was king - he needed to be doing God's bidding rather than his own. He forgot that being lazy and undisciplined will cost us in the end. He forgot that being in the wrong place at the wrong time - will lead to wrong actions. God never promises to us a "place" where we can be safe from all temptation and sin. There is NO place on earth where this exists. No matter where you go on earth - there will be temptation and there will be a need to draw near to God and look to Him for protection. There is only a "person" of safety - and that is the Lord our God. When we draw near to Him we find deliverance and safety. When we walk with Him and turn to Him - we are with the Only One Who can deliver us from all our temptations and sins. If David had remembered this he would have realized that he was in far greater danger at home without the presence of God in his life - than if he were in the midst of a fierce battle with God there within. The one thing that grants me hope in reading this verse is the word "almost." One would think that David would have been utterly ruined by his adultery. Please do not misunderstand that he was going to have to pay a very heavy price before this was over. He would lose no less than 4 children in this situation. He would have 10 concubines raped by his own son in broad daylight in front of all Israel. His kingdom would be divided and many would lose their lives in battles that would ensue. The losses would be huge - and yet it was "almost" utter ruin. God offers grace and forgiveness even in the most horrible of situations. David took advantage of this grace and fell upon the mercies of God in the end. God would forgive him and restore him to the joy of his salvation. Truly this is one of the most amazing stories of mercy and grace in all the Scriptures. Yet, David, in offering this glimmer of hope in the midst of his cry of despair still is warning us - pleading with us to remember him. He is pleading with us to remember the high cost of adultery and unfaithfulness to God's call for purity in our lives. May we see both the warning and the wonder of this passage. A warning against adultery and sexual sin - and the wonder of God's grace and forgiveness that can save us even in the worst of sitautions and circumstances. "I have not listened to the voice of my teachers, Nor inclined my ear to my instructors!" Proverbs 5:13
There are consequences for sexual sin in the lives of those who commit it. These two verses in Proverbs chapter 5 relate to us what some of these consequences are for the immoral person. What is fascinating is that these two things are not exactly on the what's what list for sexual immorality - and yet they are both problems that will come for those who practice this kind of lifestyle and choice in life. It would be wise for us to briefly remember the context of these verses. These are in the context of a father warning a son not to consort with prostitutes and with women who commit adultery. The warnings are dire but are in no way hyperbole. The things being said to this young man are true warnings and they contain true consequences for his actions. This is why the one who commits adultery later laments that he did not listen to the voice of his teachers - nor pay attention of incline his ear to hear how they were seeking to instruct him. There is very real ruin and disgrace that attends adultery. Anyone who has watched a marriage and a family disintegrate under the weight of it knows this to be true. Yet, even with all the examples that we have before us of these things, men and women still enter into relationships and commit adultery. The siren call of pleasure drowns out the voice of teachers and instructors who have warned them of the rocky shores upon which they will wreck their lives and the lives of their families. The only cry they will lift is unfortunately the one that comes from the battered survivors who cry in pain in the midst of their wreckage. That is what we have here before us - the cry of the destroyed. I did not listen to my teachers! I did not incline my ear to my instructors! I am ruined due to my sin and my indiscretions! The cries come from the rocks and from the ruins of lives that have ventured too far into those dangerous waters. They have ignored the warning of the lighthouse of Scripture that tells them what will happen. Rebellious and unteachable - their lesson will only be learned the hard way. They will add their names to the long list of cautionary characters who faced ruin in opposing and thinking they can get past the Scriptures and God's warnings. All this can seem like too much - but tomorrow we will see a ray of hope in what is said in verse 14. So if you are on the verge of despair - there is hope - there is mercy - and there is grace! And you groan at your final end, When your flesh and your body are consumed; Proverbs 5:11
Here we find our old friend, the word "acharith," used in connection with the latter stages of sexual sin - and the diseases that area associated with it. It is truly amazing that the Bible speaks of the latter end of sexual sin in these terms. Long before the medical community could even test for these things - and all knowing and loving God warned us against lifestyles that would consume our flesh and our body. What is truly sad is that men and women simply ignore such warnings generation after generation. The result is that sexually transmitted diseases continue to run rampant in society with the same disastrous consequences to men. We are warned that if we engage in sexual immorality we will 'growl' at our latter end. The word used here speaks of a deep gutteral groan -a despairing sound that comes because someone has discovered too late that their sexual choices have come to destroy them. This groaning happens also because their glesh and body are consumed. The world mocks the church and the Word of God when we walk about such things. I remember when a Christian teacher said that AIDS was a judgment of God upon homosexuality. He was torn to shreds by the media - and honestly - by too many Christians as well. In a way, I too, think he should not have said this. What he should have said was that AIDS, syphillis, gonnorhea, clamydia, and some 30+ other sexually transmitted diseases are the consequences of sexual immorality, whether heterosexual or homosexual. These are God's judgments on godless sexual choices. He promises them not just in Romans chapter 1, but also here in Proverbs 5 and elsewhere in Scripture. These consequences are inescapable if we choose to walk in rebellion to God in the area of our sexuality. I took some time before I wrote this post to go to various websites that gave information on the latter stages of STD's. This is what STD's will do to us over time - they destroy our bodies. Let me take a couple of moments to give you some examples of what happen when STD's reach their latter stages. AIDS does its damage by attacking our immune system - making us weak and unable to fight disease. It's final stages make us prone to having numerous different cancers, pneumonia, skin diseases, as well as other diseases that attack various organs in our body. Syphillis in its final stages causes paralysis, numbness in our bodies, blindness, as well as involuntary muscle movements that we cannot control. Worst of all is insanity which comes as our brains are systematically attacked by the disease. Just looking at these two consequential diseases that attend sexual immorality should help us to see that God was very serious when He warned that this type of rebellion will cost us our health. Oh that we would learn from these things, from these warnings concerning the medical consequences of walking contrary to God's ways when it comes to our sexuality. And you groan at your final end, When your flesh and your body are consumed; Proverbs 5:11
The latter end of our days. The consequences of our actions not after a few moments - but a week later, a month later, a year later, a lifetime later. This is what verse 11 of our proverb today is calling out to us today. It is a challenge to think beyond the moment when we make choices. It is a challenge to think longer in to our future and consider where our choices are going to take us. This chapter of Proverbs deals primarily with the adulterous woman and what she will do to the poor schlub who decides to engage in sexual immorality with her. So far this proverb has told us of some very harsh consequences that will come to the one who does this. We've seen so far that we will give our vigor to others (11), we will give our years to the cruel one which is a reference to the devil (11), the divorce that will likely come will end up having us send our goods to the house of someone else (12), and we will watch strangers be given the money we've earned with our strength (12). These are pretty difficult things to handle - but now we see that the latter end of our lives will be bad. The term "final end" is only one word in the Hebrew. It is the word "acharith" which means to the end of the matter. It has to do with having the wisdom to see what the final end of something is going to be. According to today's proverb, our latter end - our acharith will be that we will groan as our flesh and body are consumed. Let's take a look at what that may mean for us. The rabbis speak about this passage and beleive it speaks to a problem with disease. When you engage in sexual immorality it opens you up to the world of STD's that run rampant among the sexually active crowd. I just took a few minutes to peruse the CDC website on sexually transmitted diseases and it was frightening to consider how many in our society are infected already. What is even more frightening is that these are statistics from those who report that they have STD's. Some experts believe that these numbers would at least triple or quadruple if we knew everyone who is truly infected. Most of these diseases do not have an immediate effect on someone, but just about every one of them have devastating long-term problems that come with being infected. This is what we would expect when we read what God has to say about sexual immorality here in Proverbs. It is at the latter end of your days that you find your flesh and body consumed by the consequences of your actions. It is a sad reality though that when these things begin to strike, we will groan because of them. The groan mentioned here refers to a groan or a growl - even a roar could be the meaning. What is being communicated to us is that the pain involved here is pretty excruciating. If you've ever seen or heard of how someone dies of AIDS or syphilis, it is not pretty. But this is what awaits those who indulge in sexual immorality very often. Wisdom is this - God's way in sexuality. He desires for us to reserve ourselves for our husband or wife. He desires abstinence in singleness and faithfulness in marriage. If our society were to adopt these practices we would watch STD's plummet in number - and eventually be gone from our world. But the truth is that fallen men and women engage in sexual immorality. The result therefore is that we have a world that is unfortunately running wild in a very dangerous area - and that the infection rates will continue to rise. May God give us wisdom to avoid being one of the statistics and hold fast to God's way. May we also be wise as fathers in instructing our children - especially our sons as to the true dangers that are out there for the sexually immoral one. And strangers will be filled with your strength And your hard-earned goods will go to the house of an alien; Proverbs 5:10
Here is an interesting and prophetic verse that deals with the aftermath of someone who pursues the immoral woman or adulteress. After stating that following this woman will guarantee that your latter years will be given to the cruel one - we read one of the ways that he will begin to wreak havoc in the adulterer's life. Strangers will be filled with your strength. This is an interesting verse because it has to do with the cost of adultery. We need to remember that under Old Testament law an adulterer would be put to death if caught having adultery. So this speaks of a more merciful sentence - possibly a financial one. But as the adulterer toils away to pay the cost of his sexual escapades, he sees that the promise of pleasure has turned into a cost that was far more than he thought it would be. Even if he is not given the death sentence, he is forced to pay and pay dearly. The second thing that happens is that your hard-earned goods will go to the house of an alien. Once again this pictures punishment financially for having sex with another man's wife. The adulterer works hard - but he does not receive any of the benefit of his labor. Instead, he has to face the fact that all his hard work is worthless - because it is going to someone else. Today, we do not have adultery laws that promise death to the one caught in adultery. But these verses are still true today. Now we have something called alimony and child support. The man who commits adultery will have to deal with the fact that his former wife may divorce him. Since sexual infidelity is the reason for it - often the courts will make the man pay for his misconduct - literally pay. They will set child support and alimony for his actions to destroy his marriage. Now, when he works hard to bring home a paycheck - he does not see it coming to him - to make him wealthier. Instead he watches as it is given to others - not himself. Many divorced men lose up to 50% of their income when this happens. Wisdom allows us to see the long term liabilities of sexual immorality and adultery. Some only hear the siren song of the adulteress - and are deaf to the sound of the waves crashing on the rocks where they soon will be destroyed. Wisdom opens our eyes to what this is going to cost us - and that price is steep indeed. Some still plunge on into the abyss and pay for it later. But my hope is that many will read these words and see that nothing good can come of an adulterous relationship. And hopefully seeing these things will wisen them up to make a good decision when they are faced with sexual temptations. Hopefully they will see the destruction down the road and avoid that exit altogether. Or you will give your vigor to others And your years to the cruel one; Proverbs 5:9
What kind of problems come with a choice for sexual immorality and relationships with immoral men and women? This question will be answered today by our proverb of the day. This entire chapter deals primarily with the immoral person. It actually is the words of a father as he warns his son to stay away from immoral women - especially the adulteress. In verse 9 of this section the father begins to tell the son why he should stay far away from the adulteress. Here he addresses some of the things that will happen if he were to stray into her paths and be caught by her wiles. He first mentions that if he does this he will give his vigor to others. The word vigor means grandeur - and it speaks of a man's honor, glory, and majesty. A man may be a person of honor - but when he is giving himself to a sexually immoral relationship - and this is truest when he is doing it with a married woman - he loses all that honor. Too often I've watched over the years as a man pursues an adulterous relationship with a woman - and in the process he loses any standing in the community. He may have had it prior to the relationship - but not people look at him and shake their heads. Think about the shame and disgrace that came upon President Bill Clinton when his sexual scandal came out in our society. It was as if many in our nation lost all respect for Him. He gave his vigor - his glory and honor - to another. He had decided to spend the value of his name on a young woman solely for the purpose of sex. He sold himself far too cheaply - and in the eyes of many - he will never regain that glory or honor. The second warning that is offered to the son about sexual immorality is that his years will be turned over to the "cruel one." The word used here is "akzari" and it refers to something or someone who is cruel and deadly. It actually refers in its root to the venom of cobras. In Job 41:10 this same word is used to describe the fierce nature of Leviathan. We should not lose sight that all of these terms are also used to describe the person or the work of the devil as well. Thus it is not too far of a stretch to grasp that when we give ourselves over the to harlot or to the adulteress, we are giving ourselves to the work and power of the devil. He is behind these things and loves it when someone steps into his trap. Disgrace and a cruel task master . . . that is what waits in store for the young man (or any man for that matter) who makes the disastrous mistake of giving himself over to the adulteress or the harlot. Her service is terribly costly and devastating. The wise father takes the time and uses these images to teach his son what awaits him if he gives in to his sexual urges. He does so not just to scare his son (although that is certainly not an unwise thing to do) but to warn him of the reality of what awaits him on the other side of giving himself over to sexual immorality. Keep your way far from her And do not go near the door of her house, Proverbs 5:8
For many, the reason that they fail and fail again in conquering sexual sin is because they are trying to walk as close as they can to the line rather than walking miles from seeing it. Let me explain as we look at today's "little bit of wisdom." Solomon is giving his son great advice here concerning the immoral woman. He is told to keep his way FAR from her! He tells his son not to go near to the door of her house! What great wisdom he offers here - and yet it is as simple as a child learning their first letters. The problem is that too many ignore this advice - and do so to their own demise. FAR - there is the definitive word that we need to remember when it comes to avoiding sexual sin. What usually happens is that a young man wants to go as close as he can to sin - without actually stepping into it. He walks the line between sin and righteousness like someone walks a tight rope. The result of this choice on his part is that he sins - and does so fairly regularly. Here is a truth and wisdom you need to remember when it comes to sexual sin - and hanging around the wrong kind of women or men. If you want to walk as close as you can to sin - you will sin. You are destined to fall if your goal is to stay close to the edge of sin. David knew this when he instructed Solomon in this very same information. David understood this all too well. David should have never been in Jerusalem when he committed adultery with Bathsheba. The Scriptures tell us that when kings went to war . . . David chose to stay home. This presents a very dangerous situation for David. First of all, David is not where he should be - fighting for Israel and engaging the Lord's enemies. So our first lesson is this - if sin is our enemy, why would we want to get as close to it as we can? If David would have been where God wanted him to be - he would have never faced temptation in the first place. David's actions had consequences. Now he was a man in a city filled with women whose husbands were away at war. Where there would have been a natural protection afforded to David by the presence of Bathsheba's husband - that was not the case. When David was walking on the roof of his house and saw Bathsheba bathing - he could have walked away and gone back into his palace. Instead he chose to look - and to note that she was a beautiful woman. Each time David decided to walk on the edge of where God wanted him to be - and what God wanted him to do - David was ensuring that he was going to eventually fall off that edge headlong into sin. Eventually, David succumbed to the desires that were raging in his heard. Even though he had a palace filled with wives - and probably by this time concubines - he had to have this woman. The rest is a sad and sordid history. But enough about David - how about us? Where are we walking in these matters? Are we steering clear of sin - especially sexual sin. I know of men who have stumbled again and again into pornography and other sexual sin - who grieve over their failures. But they are unwilling to get a filter - unwilling to submit to accountability - and many think they can continue to get as close to sin as possible rather than run from it. If you want to know the answer to all this - it is to follow Solomon's counsel here - and keep away from the immoral woman - or wherever you are seeing her image or pictures. If anything our heart's desire needs to be a desire to get as close to JESUS as we can! That is what needs to drive us in our hearts. We need to have a heart that says - not only do I want to keep away from her and steer clear of the door of her house. I want to do just the opposite - to keep as close as I can to Christ - and to often go near Him. If you want to avoid sexual sin - then AVOID IT! But in avoiding it, don't think inches or millimeters. Think miles and miles! By staying away from the source of temptation - we will find our hearts wonderfully protected as we instead draw near to our Lord Jesus Christ! |
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